News

Conscious Uncoupling Starts With Unconscious Coupling

If possible you haven’t heard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin (a movie star & rock star, respectively) announced their divorce this week after a respectable ten-years of marriage.

In fact numerous celebrity duos have recently announced their split as a “conscious uncoupling” — a term they hope sums up just how they’re attempting to go about the whole marriage dissolution thing. Their divorce interactions, they’d like us to believe, involve a thoughtful and mutually compassionate split not overrun by anger and high production drama or defensive emotion. Clearly, “uncoupling” with respect and kindness an admirable goal. But how do and countless couples end up as midlife divorce statistics in the first place?

The seeds of conscious uncoupling are said to be sown somewhere in the less than “mindful” act of unconscious coupling.

Author Abby Rodman explains” “What this means is that many of us choose mates who aren’t right for us by ignoring our unconscious motivations for doing so. Nevertheless, our unconscious — our brain’s holding place for repressed emotions and memories — helps fuel our decisions.”

In other words: “we’re not doing enough psychological due diligence when making such a momentous choice. We simply don’t know ourselves as well as we consciously think. And with the divorce rate hovering at 50 percent, it’s pretty clear we need to dig deeper.”

How do half of us choose marriages that aren’t built to go the distance?

Given our extended lifespans, contemporary marriages must be able to withstand the storms of many decades. And true, some do. However, many more don’t. If 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, it doesn’t mean the other half are happy and satisfying. It only means that some percentage of that other 50 percent is happy. Non-newsflash: many folks stay in unhappy marriages. Suppose you guesstimate that there’s a 25 percent chance of having a happy marriage. Those odds are clearly pretty slim. Emaciated, really! And it all begins with unconscious coupling.”

Abby maintains, “The midlife divorce statistics are trying to show us something important. And, in good conscience, we best not look away. Instead, we might consider that the antidote to conscious uncoupling is conscious coupling.”

And knowing oneself — consciously — is, undeniably, a wise place to start.

Technology Addiction Figured Out | A Tech Addicts Cure?

Smart Phone Social Norms | Can You Stay in the Room?

Perhaps . . . readers know that All Tech Considered has been exploring the social norms around obsessively (inappropriately) checking your smartphone while out with real, live human beings. Is it a big no-no, or a new normal? Is it totally not cool in a movie but OK to peek at dinner? Y’all have responded in hundreds of thoughtful ways on the original post and through this form (which is still open).

Remain Drug Free | Call me to explore psychotherapy in Seattle

Side Effects May Include Lawsuit 

While the balance between efficacy and risks of antipsychotic medications remains questionable, how these drugs became so ubiquitous and profitable is not — huge “pharmaceutical money” drives billions of dollars yearly. Pharmaceutical manufactures and advertising giants are literally “making a killing”

Making a Killing: The Untold Story of Psychotropic Drugging

Big Pharma got behind antipsychotic medications with fervor in the 1990s, when antipsychotics were promoted as the “standard of care” for the most profoundly serious and debilitating mental illnesses, like hallucinatory schizophrenia, and recast them for much broader uses, according to previously confidential industry documents that have been produced in a variety of court cases.

Anointed with names like Zyprexa, Geodon, Abilify and Seroquel, such antipsychotic drugs have recently been increasingly prescribed and administered to an exceptionally broad swath of patients, from preschoolers to retirees.

Today, more than a half-million youths take antipsychotic drugs, and fully one-quarter of nursing-home residents have been prescribed such drugs — despite clear and reprehensible risks! Please notice that recent government warnings clearly say the drugs may be fatal to some older patients and have unknown effects on children.

Just where does the psychosis really lie?

“It’s the money,” says Dr. Jerome L. Avorn, a Harvard medical professor and researcher. “When you’re selling more than $1 billion a year of a given drug, it’s very tempting for a company to just ignore the traffic ticket (cost of wrongful death lawsuits) and keep speeding.”

Thich Nhat Hanh | If You Say Something Kind

You are like a candle.

Imagine you are sending light out all around you.

All your words, thoughts and actions are going in many directions.

If you say something kind, your kind words go in many directions,

and you yourself go with them.

We are transforming and continuing in a different form at

every moment.



Thich Nhat Hanh

Do Twelve Step Programs Like AA Work for You? | Explore Your Alternatives!

Do 12-step programs work?

Again, sort of . . .

A 10-year-long research study published in 2013 claimed to demonstrate a significant benefit for those attending AA meetings, while critics of the organization often point to a 2006 review article that found no quantifiable benefit from AA or other 12-step programs. In fact, it is clear that academic researchers have been complaining for decades about the lack of data on 12-step programs. The Alcoholics Anonymous organization has apparently compiled internal data on membership attrition rates, but it hasn’t done enough to satisfy the demands of an evidence-based medical culture.

Alcoholics Anonymous | Addiction Doctors Fight and Outdated Battle!

Alcoholics Anonymous is, without question, the largest and most venerable addiction recovery group in the world. Founded nearly 80 years ago, AA now boasts or an amazing 2.1 million worldwide members, many of whom attribute their very survival to “The Program.” In the United States, where 12-step programs originated, AA is viewed by many as a national treasure of sorts.

Social workers send patients to AA meetings. Judges condition people’s freedom on meeting attendance. Desperate spouses condition marriages on it. Everyone loves Alcoholics Anonymous. Or almost everyone . . .

Many patients and doctors have grumbled for years about the religion inherent in the Alcoholics Anonymous process: Half of the 12 steps involve God or “a Power greater than ourselves.”

Food Addiction Counseling | It is Not Just Psychological!

Morphine, morphine everywhere . . .

In common cow’s milk, the protein casein breaks down during digestion into a range of casomorphin peptides, while modern (routinely genetically modified) wheat contains several gluten exorphins. Both casomorphins and exorphins are closely related to the well-known opioid, morphine, and exhibit many of its insidious addictive properties. The so-called ‘food opiates’ are powerful psychoactive substances. You only have to look at the effect of morphine and heroin addiction to appreciate that they are some of the most addictive substances known to man.

Seattle Therapy |Game Addiction | Pornography Addict?

The Psychology of Video Game Addiction

Pioneers in the field of video game addiction are making clear thaw fact that this problem is rapidly escalating . Internet game and porn addiction has all the features needed to classify an addiction: losing occupations and loved ones; withdrawal symptoms like cold sweats rage and property destruction . . . people complain of migraines, back problems and,very occasionally, death. And it’s occurring around the globe, but especially in America, the UK, and parts of Asia (China, Korea, and Japan).

No one knows how many people are affected, but two statistics stand out: Globally, this is a $66 billion dollar industry, and in 2007 a study found almost 12 percent of participants in a 7,000 person study were diagnosed as addicted to video games. Clearly, if that trend even partially reflects numbers in the greater population, we’re in trouble.

ACT Therapy Seattle | Musing Within The Happiness Trap

Talks at the Rubin Museum

In Memoriam: Philip Seymour Hoffman

Just over a year ago philosopher Simon Critchley met with Philip Seymour Hoffman for the final evening in a series of on-stage conversations called Happy Talk. In a delightful and searching dialogue, that in hindsight seems prescient, the actor wrestles with the concepts of happiness, love, and death with the same courage and compelling insight that he brought to his role

The Ever Present Danger of Relapse in Drug Addictions

Why Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Death Is So Scary

It is clear that the root causes of drug addiction, like those of many multifactorial diseases, are frustratingly elusive — exceedingly nebulous mixture — of genetics, exposure, culture, conditioning, personality and environment . . .

Addiction obviously runs in families, but plenty of addicts come from families with no history of the illness. To be sure, availability plays a role, too—but having access to crack doesn’t make someone a crack addict.

The science addiction treatment and recovery is also hazy: Alcoholics Anonymous, is the most widely used form of post treatment support in the country, has no set structure or methodology, which makes it tough to evaluate its effectiveness. There’s also the fact that its core principle involves anonymity—that members never publicly acknowledge their presence in the program—makes broad longitudinal studies difficult, In-patient treatment “rehabilitation” centers, like the one Hoffman checked himself into last year, have been accused of obfuscating their success rates. Addiction relapse prevention efforts are clearly a life-long mandate for anyone suffering from such illness . . .

Picking Addiction Help | Family Intervention

Addiction is a Family Illness | How Families Can Help

Addiction is a family illness. Families suffer when someone they love descends into the purgatory of addiction. But I take issue with historical confrontational interventions and outdated confrontative “rehab oriented” mandates that families should cut off contact with addicts and allow them to reach “rock-bottom” before they can begin recovery.

Loved ones must compassionately and cautiously recognize that the “rock bottom” in problems of addiction frequently leads to death and destruction in many forms.

It is a dangerous, though popular, misconception that a person that is ill with addiction can only quit using and start to get well when the individual ‘hits bottom,’ that is, reaches a point at which he is desperate enough to willingly accept help.

Rather than coercively abandoning loved ones with old intervention methods that demand abandonment, I urge families to remain engaged, to keep open the lines of communication and regularly remind the addict of their love and willingness to help if and when help is wanted. families must also set firm boundaries — no money, no car, nothing that can be quickly converted into the substance of abuse. Flexible approaches exist for family drug intervention and each case must be carefully tailored to the situation at hand.

Whether or not the addict ever gets well, families have to take care of themselves.

Effective Addiction Treatment | Alternatives

It is clear that countless people addicted to drugs or alcohol have managed to get clean and stay clean with the help of organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous or the thousands of residential inpatient and outpatient clinics devoted to treating addiction.

However, if you have somehow failed to achieve lasting sobriety after “rehabilitate,” perhaps after spending tens of thousands of dollars, you’re not alone. And chances are, it’s not your fault.

Astounding is the fact that of the 23.5 million teenagers and adults addicted to alcohol or drugs, only about 1 in 10 gets treatment, which too often fails to keep them drug-free. Many of these programs fail to use proven methods to deal with the factors that underlie addiction and set off relapse.

If you are exploring effective addiction treatment options please feel free to give me a call! 206-547-4357

The Dance of Connection | Relationship Counseling in Seattle

The Dance of Connection |
How t0 Talk to Someone When Your’e, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed or Desperate.



In her most groundbreaking book to date, Dr. Harriet Lerner takes us far beyond her previous book The Dance of Anger and shows us how to “find our voice” with the people in our lives who matter the most. The Dance of Connection tackles the most difficult relationship problems we face with people who hurt us most.

Drawing on her own experiences and those of some of her many clients Dr Lerner counsels privately, Lerner illumines for us the most pervasive and profound relationship issues, including how to cope with feelings of rejection; how to embrace emotional vulnerability, how to take positive steps to deflect criticism or negativity from a family member or friend; and how to reinforce the positive in all of our relationships.

Please look forward to learning as Dr. Lerner reveals a startling new definition of what it means to have an “authentic voice”—one that runs counter to the automatic ways we try to speak our truths. The Dance of Connection goes beyond “communication techniques” to provide bold and innovative “voice lessons.” Lerner tells us when to lighten up and let things go, and when we need to take specific constructive steps to heal betrayals, inequalities, and broken connections

Your Gut Feelings | The Future of Psychiatry May Be Inside Your Stomach

Research scientist James Greenblatt’s provocative idea — that numerous psychiatric woes can be solved by targeting the digestive system — is increasingly reinforced by cutting-edge science. For decades, researchers have known about the connection between the brain and the gut. Anxiety often causes nausea and diarrhea, and depression can produce changes in appetite. The connection may have historically been well established, but scientists thought communication was one way: it traveled from the brain to the gut, and not the other way around.

While mental health researchers have established a compelling link between gut bacteria and mental health, they’re still trying to figure out the extent to which the human microbiome — once it’s populated in early childhood — can be transformed. “The brain seems to be hardwired for anxiety by puberty and early adolescence,” Foster said. If the microbiome is part of that hardwiring, then it would suggest that once we pass a certain threshold, the impact of bacterial tweaks on problems like depression and anxiety might wane.”

Elderly Depression and The Great Digital Divide

What’s the most persistent digital divide in America?

It isn’t by race, income or educational attainment, studies show, but by age.

Just 56 percent of Americans over 65 are online, according to a May study by the Pew Internet and American Life Project, compared with 83 percent of people aged 50 to 64, 92 percent of people 30 to 49 and 98 percent of 18-to-29 year olds. The 2013 study represented the first time the percentage of America’s online elderly tipped over the 50 percent mark.

The racial divide, by comparison, only runs from 76 percent of Hispanic Americans who are online to 85 percent of blacks and 86 percent of non-Hispanic whites, Pew found.

The digital divide measured by income is somewhat greater, from 76 percent of households that make less than $30,000 per year to 96 percent of households that make more than $75,000. The education divide comes closest to the age divide. About 59 percent of Americans who didn’t complete high school are functionally online, Pew found, compared with 96 percent of college graduates.

The effects of this divide can be pernicious, said Tony Sarmiento, executive director of Senior Service America, a Washington area nonprofit organization that works to increase Internet use among the elderly. Disconnected seniors are more likely to feel isolated and sink into depression, Sarmiento said, especially if they’re housebound by physical ailments or have lost much of their nondigital social circle to death, disease or dementia.

A 2009 report by the Center for Advanced Legal and Economic Public Policy Studies found a 20 percent reduction in depression among seniors who are effective online compared with those who are not.



“We all end up paying dearly for that in terms of older people needing more care because their health deteriorates,” Sarmiento said. “So being able to lessen that isolation online, not just with email but with Skype and things like that could have a tremendous impact.”

Psychotherapy With the Brain in Mind | Relational Neurobiology

The Construct “MindSight” and Relational Neurobiology

What is Mindsight?

“Mindsight” is a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe our human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others. It is a powerful lens through which we can understand our inner lives with more clarity, integrate the brain, and enhance our relationships with others.

Mindsight is a kind of focused attention that allows us to see the internal workings of our own minds. It helps us get ourselves off of the autopilot of ingrained behaviors and habitual responses. It lets us “name and tame” the emotions we are experiencing, rather than being overwhelmed by them.

Mindsight Skills allow one to distinguish “I am sad” vs. “I feel sad”

As similar as those two statements may seem, they are profoundly different. “I am sad” is a kind of limited self-definition. “I feel sad” suggests the ability to recognize and acknowledge a feeling, without being consumed or “cognitively fused” to it. The focusing skills that are part of mindsight make it possible to see what is inside, to accept it, and in the accepting to let it go, and finally, to transform it.

Mindsight:
A Skill that Can Change Your Brain Mindsight is a learnable skill.

It is the basic skill that underlies what we mean when we speak of having emotional and social intelligence. When we develop the skill of mindsight, we actually change the physical structure of the brain. This revelation is based on one of the most exciting scientific discoveries of the last twenty years

How we focus our attention [intimate relating / interpersonal atunement] shapes the structure of the brain. Neuroscience has also definitively shown that we can grow these new connections throughout our lives, not just in childhood.

What’s Interpersonal Neurobiology?

Interpersonal neurobiology, a term coined by Dr. Siegel in The Developing Mind, 1999, is an interdisciplinary field which seeks to understand the mind and mental health. This field is based on science but is not constrained by science. What this means is that we attempt to construct a picture of the “whole elephant” of human reality. We build on the research of different disciplines to reveal the details of individual components, while also assembling these pieces to create a coherent view of the whole.

The Mindsight Approach Exists Within the Field of Interpersonal Neurobiology

Under the umbrella of interpersonal neurobiology, Dr. Siegel’s mindsight approach applies the emerging principles of interpersonal neurobiology to promote compassion, kindness, resilience, and well-being in our personal lives, our relationships, and our communities.

At the heart of both interpersonal neurobiology and the mindsight approach is the concept of “integration” which entails the linkage of different aspects of a system—whether they exist within a single person or a collection of individuals. Integration is seen as the essential mechanism of health as it promotes a flexible and adaptive way of being that is filled with vitality and creativity.

The ultimate outcome of integration is harmony.

The absence of integration leads to chaos and rigidity—a finding that enables us to re-envision our understanding of mental disorders and how we can work together in the fields of mental health, education, and other disciplines, to create a healthier, more integrated world.



The Mindsight Institute

Through the Mindsight Institute, Dr. Siegel offers a scientifically-based way of understanding human development. The Mindsight Institute serves as the organization from which interpersonal neurobiology first developed and it continues to be a key source for learning in this area. The Mindsight Institute links science, clinical practice, education, the arts, and contemplation, serving as an educational hub from which these various domains of knowing and practice can enrich their individual efforts.

Researchers Say Online Game Firms Need do More to Prevent Addiction

Online game companies need to do more to prevent players becoming too addicted in order to avoid government intervention, a study has warned:

Researcher scientists at Cardiff, Derby and Nottingham Trent universities said some gamers play up to 90 hours a session, developing a “pathological addiction.”

The investigators say while conventional video games have an ending, role-playing games involving numerous players may not. The universities’ research warned if game companies did not create restraints for players and their games grew in popularity, Western governments might have no choice but to follow Asia and limit usage.

The study, published in the Addiction Research and Theory journal, has said Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs) are an inexhaustible system of goals and success.

The character becomes stronger and richer by moving to new levels while accumulating treasures, power and weaponry.

The universities have said evidence suggests around seven to 11% of gamers were having real problems and were considered “pathological gamers.” Many game addicts were reported to have been playing for 40, 60, and even near 90 hours in a session.

Dr Shumaila Yousafzai from Cardiff Business School said popular online video games warned players not to overuse their products.

“These warning messages also suggest that the online video game industry might know how high the percentage of over-users is, how much time gamers spend playing and what specific features make a particular game more engrossing and addictive than others,” he said.

“While they do not directly admit this, by showing the warning messages, they do take some responsibility into their own hands.”

Warning messages:

Cyber psychologist Dr Zaheer Hussain, from the University of Derby, said warning messages were not enough.

He said: “As a first step online game developers and publishers need to look into the structural features of the game design, for example the character development, rapid absorption rate, and multi-player features which could make them addictive and or problematic for some gamers.

“One idea could be to shorten long quests to minimise the time spent in the game obtaining a certain prized item.”

3 Deep Breathing Exercises to Reduce Anxiety

Therese J. Borchard writes this article acknowledging the importance of deep breathing in her personal recovery from problems such as anxiety and depression. She writes that shallow breathing contributes to feelings of panic and that she has personally been reduced to breathing out of a paper bag to maintain physical control of her breathing on more than one occasion. Deep breathing is so helpful in times of anxiety and stress because it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which is responsible for our body activity when we are rest. It works opposite of the sympathetic nervous system which controls fight-or-flight responses.

Are You Impatient for Change?

It hard not to understand why someone in our current society might be impatient for change. The world we live in has two recurring messages on this subject. One, that we aren’t good enough. Two, that change is quick and easy. There is medicine that is supposed to fix our physical and mental health problems, products that will make us feel good, books that will give us all the answers, and milestones that will suddenly make life better. The media sells us on the idea of fixing our problems and it is easy to want to believe them because we know that actual change is difficult. Change requires us to take responsibility.

Cognitive behavioral psychotherapy helps you manage your anxiety and depression and realize the personal change that you value!

Emotional Appraisal Can Alleviate Anxiety

Emotional Re-Appraisal is one of the most effective methods today in dealing with emotional arousal. The technique involves taking an initial reaction and re-evaluating it. This evaluation or appraisal diffuses the impact of the initial response and alleviates anxious symptoms. Unfortunately neurological mechanisms of performing the appraisal take place in the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which research suggests is impaired in people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other anxiety issues. The impaired prefrontal cortex makes it more difficult for them to perform an emotional re-appraisal, though studies have not determined if this is a cause or effect of anxiety.

Why We ‘Self-Medicate’ Our Own Depression or Anxiety

How do we know when a couple of nightly drinks make the dark turn towards alcohol dependency? When liquor routinely becomes the solution for stress, anxiety, or conflict, it’s time to take a serious look at the issue. Mental health problems are often self-medicated with a drink or trip to the bar. If you notice a pattern in yourself, or others comment on your use of alcohol, consider the “ endless cycle of use” you may not have been willing to acknowledge. Does your dependency nag at you, complicate your life, or shame you? If so, it’s time to get help.

Benefits of Mindfulness

When considering the benefits of mindfulness, it is also appropriate to consider how well, if you were really trying, you could actually sit down and quiet your mind into a state of meditation. How hard is it to let go of the past for just a few moments, let go of worries about the future, and just exist in the present? Mindfulness has been described by expert Jon Kabat-Zinn as paying intense attention to the present moment without judgment, as if your life depended on it. Whether or not that is the case, research on mindfulness meditation has shown to increase telomerase and boost our immune system.

10 Tips for Dealing with Surprises and Unexpected Events

Life is full of surprises and every day we meet a few of them. Generally, the surprises are minor things, but there are occasionally unexpected life-altering events that we have to deal with. Whether the surprises are good or bad, most people are more comfortable living their lives in a routine for the sense of control that it gives them. This can lead to difficulty coping both with good and bad surprises. The first tip for dealing with surprises is just acknowledging the surprises are part of life and are unavoidable. Whether you like them or not, they cannot be stopped.

ADHD Teens More Likely to Have Substance Abuse Problems

An eight year study from researchers at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, in conjunction with six other healthcare centers across the country, of over 600 teenagers has shown that kids diagnosed with ADHD have a substantially higher prevalence of substance abuse and cigarette use than kids without ADHD, regardless of whether or not the ADHD is being treated. Teens with ADHD are three times more likely to have serious problems with substances. The results showed that 35% of ADHD students in the study had used one or more substances, compared to 20% of non-ADHD students. Ten percent experienced serious problems, compared to three percent of other students.

Addiction and Depression

Depression is one of the most, if not the most, common co-occurring disorders most addicts have. Addicts often feel demoralized and helpless about their health and about their lives, and altered brain chemistry can easily escalate those feeling into depression. Richard Taite, the CEO and founder of the Cliffside Malibu Treatment Center, offers some suggestions on how to alleviate the feelings of depression. The first suggestion is exercise. It doesn’t even have to be going to the gym, but just any activity to get the body moving, whether that is walking up and down the stairs a few times or going out for a short walk.

Dealing with a Quick-Tempered Spouse

When spouses erupt in anger, not to be confused with a fight, fly off the handle, and express feelings of upset with anger, it frightens their partner. Whether their partner cowers or leaves, they don’t respond well to anger because it is challenging to deal with anger. Constantly being around a person who is prone to angry outbursts can create an environment of fear for their partner, which can ruin a marriage. This article provides a guideline on how to deal with a spouse who may be subject to such outbursts and create an environment where both parties can feel safe.

Drama Belongs in the Theatre

Greg Malouf believes that people identify with the drama that plays out in their lives, when the reality is that the drama is not real. Maleouf describes drama as bound up by illusion, based on perceptions, becoming personally defeating because of our lack of sophistication about our emotional lives. He writes that drama is not an illusion in that things aren’t actually happening to us, but a closer examination of all the things happening may show that a lot of them are not very important. Giving voice to everything creates a life of noise, creating the illusion of happenings, when we might actually have more time and fewer important events going on than we’d like to think.

Maintenance CBT Reduces Risk of Relapse for Panic and Agoraphobia

Panic and agoraphobia routinely exact a debilitating affect on daily life for those who suffer from them. While there are many treatments available, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to have a marked impact on the prevention of relapse and remediation of symptoms of panic (it is important to note) more so than medication alone. Encouraging is the finding that after the cessation of medication, a well conceived maintenance program informed by CBT therapists has the most successful prevention of relapse. Any gains made during treatment are significantly less likely to be sustained without such a maintenance program. So for all those suffering from panic and anxiety, including CBT in your long-term treatment plan is crucial for your success.

Conflict with an ADHD Child From a Father’s Perspective

Most of the research on children with attention-deficit hyperactive disorder and the family conflict that arises in their household as they reach their teen years has been based on self-reports from both the child and the mother. Clarisa Markel, from the Human Development and Applied Psychology Department at the University of Toronto, recently led a study on how both mothers and fathers rate the level of conflict with their ADHD child. The study is an attempt to address the lack of research on the father’s perspective in this situation. Specifically, the study focused on whether each parent believed that the conflicts that arose were instigated by the child or not.

Lindsey Vonn: 5 Things to Know About Depression

Olympic Skier, Lindsey Vonn, revealed at the beginning of the new year that she suffers from depression. This personal revelation shows that you can’t tell how a person feels simply by looking at their status, looks, or success. It’s important to remember the depression is an illness, one that can affect anyone. It isn’t a sign of weakness to be depressed and it is important to seek help to combat the depression. Another thing to know is that research is showing that cognitive behavioral therapy is effective against depression, but that medication may also be an option to treat the illness.

Becoming More Aware of Depression and Bipolar

Tom Wootan, the CEO of Bipolar Advantage, writes that we only see what we have been trained to see. In terms of the bipolar community, he means that doctors see only a disease, family and friends see only behaviors, and the afflicted see only pain. His point is that there is a lot more going on with depression and bipolar disorders than any one perception, or even the sum of the three impressions. Being trained to see the bigger picture of bipolar can lead not only to a deeper understanding of the disorder, but also better functionality for those who have it, more comfort for everyone, and the recognition of potential value of the disorder.

10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays

While seeing old friends and family during the holidays can be the best part of the year for some, for others it can raise feelings of sadness, loss, and disappointment. Seeing family members can revert people to childhood patterns which might be especially painful if those patterns are something the person believes he has worked through. Anxiousness and depression are not unusual during the holidays, especially for those who have suffered a recent loss. Keeping a regular routine through the holiday season works to help alleviate any additional stress. Being careful not to overindulge in food or alcohol during the season helps as well, as it avoids later feelings of guilt at the overindulgence.

Depression Disproportionately Affects Those in Poverty, Report Finds

A new report from Gallup and Healthways shows that people who are poor not only have a greater risk of health problems, but are disproportionately more likely to be diagnosed with depression. Thirty-one percent of people living in poverty report having depression, according to the report, while only 15.8% of people outside of the poverty line report the same. In the report, the researchers mentioned that whether depression led to poverty or poverty led to depression, the fact remains that those in poverty are twice as likely to suffer the condition and it is possible that the condition could impede their escaping poverty.

Bystanders to Violence: The Child Witness

A child bystander to violence, unlike an adult, is held hostage by violence almost every time they witness it because they are helpless to stop it. Dr. Lynn Somerstein is of the belief that domestic and public violence are so prevalent that the witnessing of that violence is a public health problem for children and that a family who exposes their children to violence is guilty of neglect and abuse, even if the child is not physically harmed by it. There are three categories of effects that violence has on children. The first is behavioral and emotional, the second is cognitive functioning and attitudes, and the final category is longer-term.

Why Domestic Violence Occurs and How to Stop It

The latest Mary Kay Truth About Abuse Survey shows that most domestic abuse shelters have been experiencing an increase in women seeking help. According to the survey, 74% of women stayed in their abusive relationships longer than they otherwise would have because of the economy and 58% of abuse shelters have reported that the abuse suffered is worse now than before the economic downturn. The economy seems to be having a pronounced effect on domestic abuse, but the causes are rooted psychologically deeper in both the abusers and the abused. Two dynamics that contribute greatly to domestic abuse are the “critical inner voice” and the “fantasy bond.”

Six Tips to Keep Long-Term Relationships Exciting

While the rush of falling in love fades over time and our feelings in relationships do change, the love itself doesn’t necessarily disappear. The feelings evolve and the relationship can evolve beside them to remain exciting. In order to maintain the excitement as well as deepen the passion, we need to avoid certain traps and behaviors that can be easy to fall into as a relationship progresses, as well as challenging our own fears and defenses. This article gives six tips from Dr. Lisa Firestone to help couples keep their relationship healthy and exciting through the test of time.

Always Angry?

According to a new survey of two thousand people, British citizens spend an average of three and a half years being angry throughout their lifetime. The time distribution works down to about an hour and nineteen minutes a day of anger and the most common causes of this anger are common frustrations such as bad customer service or poorly automated phone systems. Work, money, and family problems were included in the survey but none of them made even the top ten for sources of anger. Complaining psychology shows that American citizens are similarly affected by minor irritants.

Depression Therapy :: New Hope for Mental Health

Depression Therapy: According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in two Americans will suffer a mental health disorder in their lifetime. In fact, depression, schizophrenia, and addiction are among the World Health Organization’s five most common illnesses in adults between 18 and 44. Many mental illnesses, however, bear social stigmas not shared by physical disorders. For example, depression is not likely to inspire the same sympathy as a heart disease despite the American Heart Association reporting that one in five heart attack patients also suffer from depression. Not only that, but a patient with symptoms of depression who suffers a heart attack is six times more likely to die in the following months. Depression therapy helps save lives!

Men Benefit from Male-Focused Therapy for Childhood Abuse

Men and women who experienced abuse as children may suffer from that abuse well into adulthood, with symptoms manifesting in psychological issues such as aggression, anger, rage, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Men and women differ in that men are more likely to contemplate suicide as a result and women are more likely to develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD. Additionally, women are more likely to seek and complete therapy for their problems. There are a variety of reasons why men are less likely to seek treatment, but it is clear that specific approaches designed to address the unique needs of abused males are necessary.

Instant Success and Instant Coffee

Unlike instant coffee, making big changes in our lives takes a lot of time, hard work, and dedication. The internet, newspapers, and magazines are full of advertisements appealing to our desire for quick results, whether it be to get rich, improve concentration, be more likable, or to achieve our dreams. In the same way that no athlete got to the Olympics without training and no linguist learned a language by taking a pill, we are unlikely to achieve our goals without determination, willpower, and discipline. These attributes give us staying power, or the ability to continue to work towards our goals over an extended period of time.

5 People You Should Stop Resenting

The word “resentment” comes from a Latin word, “sentire,” which means, “to feel.” The prefix “re-“ means “again.” Resentment, then, can mean “to feel again,” which accurately describes the way people relive their feelings of anger and frustration when they resent somebody. Reliving these negative feelings can weigh a person down with negativity, however, and prevent them from enjoying emotions such as gratitude, happiness, or fulfillment. In order to let go of resentments, it is important to identify the targets of the resentment, which can stem from grievances either real or imagined. There are five common people most people resent, sometimes without even realizing it.

How Your Parents Might Be Sabotaging Your Relationships & What To Do About It

Attachment theory was first developed by John Bowlby, when he realized he could classify the interactions between infants and their primary caregivers based on the parent’s behavior and how the child adapted to the behavior. The four attachments a child can develop based on the behavior of their caregivers are secure, ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized. Adult relationships can mirror the attachments formed in the participants’ infant-caregiver relationships. A person who formed a secure attachment as a child, meaning their caregiver was consistently available and attentive, is likely to form healthy relationships as an adult. A person whose caregiver rarely met his/her needs, forming an avoidant attachment as a result, will have difficulty establishing an interdependent partnership.

The Power of Mindset and Getting Your Body Healthy and Fit

Fitness professional Sam Kappel writes that the first thing he coaches someone in is developing their mindset around their goal. This helps them overcome the obstacles that can get in the way of these goals by committing them to their goal. Accomplishing goals, whether fitness or otherwise, is a journey to be taken in baby steps. Part of developing the right mindset for a goal is to create mini-goals or benchmarks to be met along the way. Applying an award system to whatever mini-goals or benchmarks are set, as well as to the final goal, helps prevent discouragement and adds extra incentive.

Don’t Take Vacation From Your Good Habits

A lot of people share a similar experience when it comes to developing good habits such as eating healthy and exercising regularly. The scenario involves being careful to maintain a healthy and productive schedule during the week and then to take breaks from the good habits on the weekend. This can develop because we feel that we owe it to ourselves to take a break from our good habits, for doing so well in keeping them throughout the week. Our bad habits become a reward for successfully following the good habits, which then become a chore. This behavior devalues our good habits.

10 Tips for Healthy Families and Relationships

Colorado State University’s marriage and family therapy experts have compiled a list of relationship tips for Colorado’s Marriage and Family Therapy week. The first tip is to take care of yourself so that you are able to take care of the ones you love. Beyond keeping yourself healthy, it is also important to do something regularly to nurture yourself so that you are more available to others. Marital expert John Gottman has found in recent studies that it is important to spend a minimum of five hours a week of quality time with our partners, either spread out or all at once.

Women with ADHD: More Self-Harm & Suicide Attempts

The results of a recent study published in The Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology show that women diagnosed with ADHD as young adults, particularly combined type ADHD, are more likely to attempt suicide or participate in self-harm. In the study, 228 girls between ages 6 and 12 participated, half of whom were diagnosed with ADHD. Every five years, researchers followed up with the participants in a full day of clinical assessments. By the ten year mark, 22% of the girls diagnosed with combined type ADHD reported at least one suicide attempt, compared with 8% of the girls diagnosed with inattentive type, and 6% of the control group.

How to Avoid Blowing Up at Your Spouse

Although most people would never “blow up” at just anyone, spouses can sometimes receive the brunt force of pent up frustration and anger. These outbursts can take a serious toll on a relationship and lead to marriage problems. There are several preemptive things a person can do to avoid the bad habit of venting anger on the people closest to them. Talking about problems as they arise helps to clear any feelings of anger or resentment so they don’t build up. Actively checking feelings periodically can identify a possible build up of resentment before it reaches a breaking point.

How to Overcome Stress and Anxiety Naturally

Stress and anxiety are acknowledged parts of everyday life for most people due to lifestyle changes and the daily challenges that everyone faces. Excessive stress and anxiety can lead to health issues, however, so there are many medications available to help people manage their stress and anxiety. There are also many natural methods that can be employed to control and relieve the effects of stress and anxiety as well. Meditating, or taking a few minutes to clear your mind and achieve a sense of calm, can help relieve stress. Developing a positive mindset, or changing your perception of a negative situation by developing positive thoughts can also be a useful tool.

Do You Play the Blame Game in Life?

According to Mike Bundrant, the director of the iNLP Center, the blame game is where a person blames other people and his or her environment for the the things wrong with life. Playing the blame game means being inactive in life and allowing the quality of life to depend on what everyone and everything else does to it. Being inactive means not taking control of life and not taking necessary steps to improve it by coming up with solutions to redress the bad things that happen. Instead of playing the blame game, Bundrant advises that people take charge and take proactive steps toward a better life.

Can Happiness Reverse the Negative Effects of Loneliness?

In addition to experiencing the death of loved ones, older adults also witness the decline in their own physical health. These factors contribute to a special vulnerability toward loneliness in older adults which can lead to negative effects such as high blood pressure and cardiovascular problems, and have also been linked to depression and anxiety. Nancy E. G. Newall of the University of Manitoba’s Centre on Aging and the Department of Community Health tested a theory that positive feelings can counteract the effects of loneliness. The study followed 228 older adults and monitored their health, physical activity, and outlook over the course of one year.

You Can Be Depressed Without Being Sad

Not only do most people who commit suicide have a depressive disorder, but people who have a depressive disorder in conjunction with a chronic physical illness are at a higher risk for disability or premature death. It is important to identify and treat depressive disorders, but identifying them may not be as easy as it sounds because it is possible to be clinically depressed without feeling sad. There are two cardinal symptoms of a depressive disorder: deep sadness and “anhedonia,” which means not taking pleasure in anything. A person must have only one of the cardinal symptoms, in combination with lesser symptoms, to be diagnosed with a depressive disorder.

Depression, Stress Linked With Brain Shrinkage—Here’s Why

While previous research has shown that stress and depression can lead to a decrease in brain mass, researchers at Yale believe they’ve found a reason why. Their goal was to test a hypothesis that stress causes a loss of brain synapses. They found that a genetic switch known as GATA1 is connected to several genes vital to forming brain connections and believe that if those connections are not formed, brain shrinkage can result. In addition, rodents with an activated GATA1 switch displayed signs of depression, showing that the activated switch and the the resulting disruption in the connections involved in emotion and cognition that it causes may also lead to depressive symptoms.

Rat Study Gives Insights Into Relieving Schizophrenia

Scientists at New York University were performing an experiment on rats to study a schizophrenic trait of being unable to process competing streams of stimuli and identify relevant information when they stumbled on a discovery. Rats with brain lesions exhibit schizophrenic symptoms once they reach the equivalent maturity of a twenty-year-old human. Rats expressing these symptoms were not able to adjust to the experiment, but in their “adolescence,” even rats with lesions are able to adjust to the experiment normally. The surprising discovery was that rats with brain lesions which had been in the experiment as adolescents were still able to adapt to the experiment in their maturity, bypassing the onset of schizophrenic traits.

Dr. Hart